Near-Death Experience NDE Story
of Mellen-Thomas Benedict
Journey Through the Light and Back
In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could given me would just have made me more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live.
I had been an information freak in the1970’s, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth. So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got.
That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped.
So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions and philosophies. They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on the other side. I ended up in hospice care.
I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 AM, and I just knew that this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called a few friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep.
The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death experience. Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house.
There was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very similar to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal mother’s or father’s arms.
As I began to move toward the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead. So as I was moving toward the Light I said, “Please wait a minute, just hold on a second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before I go.” To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are in control of your life after death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride.
So my request was honored and I had some conversations with the Light. The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked the Light, “What is going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I really want to know the reality of the situation.” I cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy.
The Light responded. The information transferred to me was that during your life after death experience your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light. If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our higher Self matrix .
We all have a higher Self, or an Oversoul part of our being. It revealed itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is that the being of the higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has. We are directly connected to the Source. So the Light was showing me the higher Self matrix. I was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what was being fed back to me during my life after death experience.
As I asked the Light to keep clearing for me, to keep explaining, I understood what the higher Self matrix is. We have a grid around the planet where all the higher Selves are connected. This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you might say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time. I said “I am ready, take me.”
Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet. Now I came to this with my negative view of what was happening on the planet. So as I asked the Light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most beautiful creations.
The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in that instant. I said, “Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are.” At any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are.
The revelations coming from the Light and seemed to go on and on, then I asked the Light, “Does this mean that Mankind will be saved?” Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, “Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world.”
In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God’s universe. This is what the second coming is about. I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with was these simple words of total appreciation: “Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I Love My Life.”
The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light was completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable. I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more, much more. It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life. I asked what this was.
The Light responded, “This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your heart’s content.” So I did. I took one big drink and then another. To drink of Life Itself! I was in ecstasy.
Then the Light said, “You have a desire.” The Light knew all about me, everything past, present and future. “Yes!” I whispered.
I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream. I did, and was carried Through the Light at the End of the Tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush!
Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not alone in this Universe!
As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I thought I was going somewhere; actually traveling. But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take in everything in the Universe! All creation passed by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland!
At this point, I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity.
I was in the Void.
I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time/the First Word/the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness.
When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That’s a mind expanding thought, isn’t it?
Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event which created the Universe. I saw during my life after death experience that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by super computers using fractal geometry equations.
The ancients knew of this. They said God had periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and recreated other Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and recreating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this.
It took me years after I returned from my near-death experience to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you this now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence.
The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the 0 space in your own body and the Universe than anything else!
What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration. The biblical “I am” really has a question mark after it. “I am—What am I?” So creation is God exploring God’s Self through every way imaginable, in an on-going, infinite exploration through every one of us. I began to see during my near-death experience that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void.
As I was exploring the Void during my life after death experience and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe!
When I realized this I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights. I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe.
Do you know what is on the other side of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy, which has been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.
As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming. I knew it was the First Light; the higher Self Light Matrix of our solar system. Then the entire solar system appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms.
I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint. It is child’s play. The earth’s Wonder child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe.
The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings. We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had seen during my life after death experience.
I don’t know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered, on the other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions have been answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore. Some of our questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree.
And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because, it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally God exploring God’s self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.
As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side.
There was a “Yes.” It felt like a kiss to my soul.
Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I came back home, and I was given lessons from my near-death experience on the mechanics of reincarnation. I was given answers to all those little questions I had: “How does this work? How does that work?” I knew that I would be reincarnated.
The earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us. I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.
I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. My body was stiff and inflexible. She went into the other room. Then I awakened and saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud “clunk,” ran in and found me on the floor.
When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened to me during my near-death experience. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, “Am I alive?” This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of my near-death experience came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.
About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news. I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, “Well, there is nothing here now.” I said, “Really, it must be a miracle”’ He said “No, these things happen; they are called spontaneous remission.” He acted very unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was.
During my near-death experience I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My descent into Hell was a descent into each person’s customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not knowing. It seemed like a miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it. They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that Light, like a child calling to a parent for help.
Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me and insulated me from all that fear and pain, That is what Hell really is. So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of Hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of Hell together. The Light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I said, “Are you the angel of death?” It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my higher Self matrix, a super ancient part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the Light.
Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn’t that going to be wonderful? We are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of. They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that. Well, one day they are going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call that ... God. We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along. As I saw forever, I came to a realm during my near-death experience in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have that power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself through us.
Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one of you can do this. You do not have to die or have a near-death experience to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for it already. The body is the most magnificent Light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.
I asked God: “What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?” And Godhead said, with great love: “I don’t care.” That was incredible grace. When Godhead said, “I don’t care,” I immediately understood that it is for us to care about. It is important, because we are the caring beings. It matters to us and that is where it is important. What you have is the energy equation in spirituality. Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of each religion, but we are talking about the same God. Live and let live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the big picture; it is all important.
I went over to the other side during my near-death experience with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rainforest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. It, more than any religion or philosophy on earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness. Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now.
For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us. Then we started saying, “we do not need this any more.” Now we are actually in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back from my near-death experience loving toxic waste, because it brought us together. These things are so big. As Peter Russell might say, these problems are now “soul size.” Do we have soul size answers” YES!
The clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed. It is part of a larger thing.
Earth is in the process of domesticating itself. It is never again going to be as wild a place as it once was. There will be great wild places, reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and reserves will be the thing in the future. Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.
After dying, going through my near-death experience and coming back, I really respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body.
After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already been alive forever.
This body, that you are in, has been alive forever. It comes from an unending stream of life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond.
This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy.
This body has been alive forever already.
Hello Lovers Far and Wide!
It's good to be back after all these years :-)
You can warm up to the impending Tidal Waves of Love
by enjoying this video about Unlocking Human Potential :
all the best
September 29, 2006.
My name was Bud Dillenger, but you can still call me Buddy. My physical body stopped two days ago and I became back to a full connection. The first thing I would like to do is thank my beautiful wife Pat, for everything she did for me to make me comfortable for my transformation back into full consciousness and for dealing with me throughout my life since I did not pick a real easy personality to be around for. For this I will forever be grateful and love her from the deepest and the most purposeful part of my heart. I tried to convey this to her during the last few days I was still in dimensional form.
Everything you have heard or read about concerning the one's leaving of the physical is pretty much true. One thing they have never explained is that you never really left this place; just your physical consciousness separates and experiences living in a condition with very little understanding of how the entire scope of creation is manifested. It isn't like you have left one place and went to another, because once you get out of space and time this process does not exist.
I understand that comprehending some of what I'm going to tell you won't fit the parameters of your points of reference. I'm being asked what it is like on the other side and what it was like transferring back into my original state. I will get this out of the way first. What I'm telling you it isn't something the average physical being can understand, because most people in any dimensional form still have a time and space factor to deal with. The closest explanation of crossing over that I can give to you is that is it like waking up from a dream. You realize you're back in what you thought was a real physical body, so by being in a physical condition you are basically cutting yourself off from your full original path. When you hear people do not want to go back into their physical body it is because you do not have the feelings and emotions that are so intense. I don't want to say uncomfortable because that's not quite what it is. It is more the fact you always have to be aware of every move you make just to keep a balance with others and with your physical body because it constantly needs some kind of attention. I can see now how when we have this physical experience how overwhelming it is just to keep it alive and in the acceptance condition that everyone else will allow you to be. Like I told Jerry in the tub there is no words and no points of reference to explain what it is in completion once you have eliminated your physical structure. All I can say is it is a hell of a ride taking on anything in physical and a third dimensional condition (full separation). There's nothing more difficult or a harder ride than this experience there are more obstacles introduced in this condition than any other way of experiencing life form. Many people have come through from this side over the years and attempted to explain the difference, not much is usually said because if no one could understand what would be the purpose. There is a group of you which is growing daily and that is opening up to other forms of consciousness. This is what this information is for because they will have to guide the others into a new physical life form that won't fit any pre-conditions experienced. A third dimensional life experience with all the emotions is a very lonely and disorientated condition to be in. Most the time you're just alone with your thoughts which mainly are just full of a lot of BS which has an accumulated thought processes that have no creative ability, because you have been introduced to a fear process that even dirties the water that much more. What I'm trying to get across is you have created a condition of ignorance and insanity that cannot be surpassed by anything. Now for the good part, this condition basically forces you to mentally learn to find a path out of this maze of misunderstoods. Yes, I have and am visiting with Gene Davis I never stopped visiting with him I just didn't realize when I was behind the temporary veil and could not see what I can see now. That analogy that gene gave you a while back with the hood of your car coming up in front of you and stopping your vision of the road was one of the better explanations for you to understand. What it is like without a full view of where you're going is for learning to trust and should be your priority. Think about this! If you're hood came up on your car while you were driving the first thing you would do is slam on the brakes and try to hold it straight and steady until you got stopped. This is basically what life is, trying to hold everything straight and steady until you get through it.
When in truth all you have to do is trust and just keep driving. I can feel that for sure most of you don't like that feeling and I don't blame you, as the analogy of that concept is tremendous. I know you expected me to go on and on about crossing over and seeing everybody over here and explaining what I'm doing, but I think the most important thing now is to get information that is the most creative to you not my social life. Like I said earlier there are no words or points of reference to explain what it is like when you return to your true self so I really cannot say much about it. One thing I will say is there is a lot of interaction with each other over here that is not necessary while you're working through your physical experience. The first thing I realize is how much time we all spent in physical form, including myself being concerned of everyone else's mental state and physical condition. There are many teachers that are explaining constantly to all of you how to abandon this part of your life because it is not necessary and has no growth pattern involved. I see my friends lord Michael, Hubbard, Davis, and others interacting with all of you just keeping you afloat until you get through it all. Yes, you have picked this condition and I understand like Gene said in his book, you can drive to Portland on the highway or in the ditch it is up to you, you're still going to Portland. This is one of the reasons I have decided to interact at this time is to share with you how much more simple life would be if you stay out of the ditch. All life is, is a series of events for you to experience once you allow them just to be events and not taken personal and allow the ego to have control and learn just to observe everything. I mean everything will change to a much more enjoyable experience. Just because you're in a low density, doesn't mean you have to be miserable. All the word miserable means is "does not understand the process." The biggest change I've made by crossing over is I am allowing instead of trying to control my surroundings and when you see the view I have now you will understand by trying to control anything is absolutely insane. Creations flow of conditions are going to happen. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, these conditions will continue, so why not just sit back and observe instead of trying to make it go the way you think it should. Like Gene Davis said one time if you can slow down the rotation of the earth by pushing against a rock you could probably accomplish some of these feats that you're trying to change.
One experience I would like to share with you during my process of crossing over is that I went through a period of re-examining many lifetimes. Apparently this is to reacquaint me with which time slot I had been experiencing. It's kind of interesting comparing the different methods between here and there. There is no place here to go for information, except within yourself. Here, even though you still have your experience of being a single entity, there is no separatism. I think that's the feeling I like the most. All understanding of creation comes back to your knowing. There was a little time in transferring over where I thought I was just hallucinating because of the tremendous shift from a physical awareness to full awareness. I am going to tell you one thing. What you have coming up in your lives is very interesting. It also will be interesting how you handle it all.
Working in the group "we" consciousness is the key to transforming into an elevated state that will allow you your mental freedom. You have very little mental freedom at this point because you've been programmed out of your original state into a physical belief system, which really means nothing. Absolutely Nothing. This is why most of you stay in the same mental and physical condition, until you get to crossover for a break. Actually quite a bit has transpired into this new world you are about to experience. I would suggest you pay close attention to your informative guidance system so that you can interact with this new world without a lot of confusion and disarray. Yes, I would like to tell you what is going on but I can't even if I wanted to because you would lose the progress you going to make going through it. Remember no free rides everything you have must be earned and another word for earned is experienced. That is the whole reason you have taken on the physical condition that you're experiencing. I was just asked if it was a relief to get back into my original state. The answer to this is I never left. I just dropped off the piece that I was using for physical experience. There are many other pieces we are using at the same time for other experiences, which would be absolutely ludicrous to try and explain what they are. The best way I can explain this place over here is you really are your own God and you have full control over everything you're doing for experience. Also I have to laugh, everything that's in discomfort in your physical body is just a bunch of thought patterns that haven't been allowed to form a full conscious creative process and when this backs up into energetic matter it throws off all forward motion so the body reacts by rejecting that feeling. The rejection results in an imbalanced feeling which you have labeled as pain and then someone along the line somebody decided pain was uncomfortable and at this point convinced everybody into the same relief pattern. Then I suppose they invented a pain pill to relieve this belief, which they were able to make money on. When you see everything from over here it seems pretty foolish, but I do understand with the limited view that you have of creation which you are doing is just about what you would do if you had no understanding of the real process of universal consciousness. It is quite pleasant to drop off that part of me that was in a low vibrational frequency and not have to deal with a condition that has no purpose.
I spent the last part of my life in remission so that I could reevaluate many of my experiences prior to the one I just transferred from. Many of you did not understand my life as a hermit, but I needed this time to balance and digest many different lifetimes that I have lived or am going to live. This gave me the opportunity to do just that because most situations in the physical body demand more attention. It is virtually impossible to process when you try to make everybody else happy. This is why at times I seemed so abrupt and non-caring but my job needed to be done alone. I think you all understand what I mean.
I'm going to proceed in helping with the process of change that you and your third dimensional planet are in the process of reconvening into full purpose. This means having full understanding of why you have created a situation and lifestyle in physical form. I see now how necessary it is to go through this experience, at one point of my evolution. It looked like a lot of wasted time, but when you get out of time it's nothing to be wasted, just experienced. I watch many of you always in a hurry because you are going to be late for something and don't even know what it is. There are a few of you that I would like to keep in close contact with while you go through the new transformation. I can do this the easiest through dream state. The dream state a connection between the physical and spiritual, in most cases, sending symbolic message to you to help guide you. It is not necessary to learn how to translate dreams. It is coming to you the best way that you can assimilate it.
About the best way I can explain the human condition is that it is constantly floating around, experiencing many different aspects all the time. Some of you have picked a more expanded and complicated way of experiencing this than others. This is why there's so much going on with your life at this time. You can feel the change coming and you want to be prepared for it. Believe me, what you are in the process of going through is the biggest transformation that the human physical force fielded has ever had to experience. This is one thing I can share with you from this side. It is one of the reasons I exited at the time; to help provide conscious references for you to follow.
The best way I know to explain preparing yourself for this big event is learning how the law of allowance interacts with your life. You have been told over and over to monitor all your thoughts and words so that you're not in the process of destroying everything that doesn't fit into different combinations of life that you think are right and wrong. This is very good advice. There is also another method; that is, feel from your heart every time you make a decision on any other individual's life. Allow them to be who they are not who you are. This takes a tremendous energetic weight off of you feeling accountable. I know because I did plenty of this while in physical state. It did a lot of damage to the cellular structure of my body.
This is very obvious from where I see it now. I know what I'm telling you. It's interesting information, but now I see that it is virtually unavailable for you to process the same. So, I can only do my best to get this point across. I'm going to stop this transmission for now but I would like to keep in touch. This has been very enjoyable. I'm sure this message will get to my friends, at least the ones it's supposed to. I really do love all of you and as soon as you learn the process of reconvening, I will see you again in person.
through Gerald Brown
(make sure your speakers are on)
harsh thoughts against the seeming perpetrators, will your tears for
another's pain change anything?
The answer is yes and no. It will not change the pain for others,
but it will change the manner in which you live.
It will impede your fulfillment.
But when you are living within the fullness of who you are,
when you are daring to claim your own fulfilment
even when others seemingly cannot, when you go forth to
fulfill your own purpose, even when such a purpose might appear to be
personal and not universal, you are then affecting the whole! You are
changing everything! You have heard these words many times, that is
why you are here!
Perhaps you will think upon those words for a while . . .
and maybe you will experience the letting go of the final thread
of your attachment to suffering. Oh, I suppose I should say (for your
benefit, because I do love you) that this doesn't mean that you don't
care. It doesn't mean that you don't want the suffering to stop. It
does mean that you are doing what you can do, not feeding energy into
the suffering and then claiming freedom. The freedom is yours to have."
through Miriandra Rota
From SEDONA Journal of EMERGENCE ~ October 2006 Issue
Dream Of Revival Meeting At Parents' Old House
Dream Of Critical Grandmother And Blue And White Squares
Dream Of Holding A Fragment Of A Rainbow